FAQ: 

Q:  "Why don't your gloves have fingers?" 

FG:  "That's a stupid question.  Next."

Q:  "What's with the jester's hat?" 

FG:  "What the hell is that supposed to mean?  Are all of your questions going to be about my clothes?"

Q:  "Umm. I'm not really a person. I'm just a compilation of frequently asked questions.  So. you can't ask me anything."

FG:  "This is my site - I can ask whatever I want."

Q:  "I don't think you understand how an FAQ is supposed to work."

FG:  "Oh, is that what you don't think?  Well I don't think you're not an idiot.  Screw this I'm leaving."