The other day we had a thunderstorm, or, as the local news teams like to call it, a ‘severe weather event’.  This information is given to me in the form of a fancy graphic flying across the screen in an attempt to distract me from the fact that I’m no longer watching the show that I had chosen to watch.   

Instead I am now watching some guy tell me that Edna Gunderson, in a town 50 miles away from me that I’ve never heard of, has reported a tree down in her front yard.  I don’t know how I would make it through the storm without that kind of information.  You hope that this horrible coverage will just go away, but then the weather guy takes off his suit coat, rolls up his sleeves, and pretends to loosen his clip-on tie, so you know you’re in for the long haul.

Person1:  “What are you watching?”

Person2:  “Storm coverage.”

Person1:  “What channel?”

Person2:  “Every channel ever created.”

The only good part about all of the hurricane coverage is that it puts to a stop all the inane chatter that I would normally have to sit through about our stupid storm.

Person1:  “They don’t think we’re going to get our power back until tomorrow.”

Person2:  “Oh, is that right.  I just heard from my mom for the first time in 3 weeks.  Turns out that the pile of sticks and rubble under three feet of toxic sludge that used to be her home and all of her worldly possessions is expected to get power in approximately never.”

Person1:  “Oh… really?”

Person2:  “Yeah.  But enough about our problems – how are you ever going to eat all the ice cream in your freezer before it melts?”

She’ll find a way.

-FG

Special Edition – Deleted Scene:

Person1:  “Every channel?”

Person2:  “Yep.  Fox, CNN, MSNBC… the Food channel has Emeril cooking with no power on… TV Land is showing that episode of Cheers where they get stuck in a hurricane…”

Person1:  “There’s no episode like that.”

Person2:  “They reunited the entire cast just to make a hurricane-based episode.  They even got Kirstie Alley.”

Person1:  “I didn’t think I remembered there being a deep fryer in the back of the bar… Well, what’s on the porn channel?”

Person2:  “I don’t even want to discuss the storm they’re covering.”

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