It seems to me that bumper stickers are getting more popular again these days.  This is a good thing, because most people that I witness around me are such good drivers that they deserve more distractions in the form of a little light reading.

However, the messages of said stickers seem to be moving away from humorous t-shirt-esque sayings like “If you can read this, you must not be my children because they’re both illiterate”, and moving toward more adversarial arenas.  For instance:

·        Political Stickers – Are there people out there being persuaded to vote one way or another based on bumper stickers?  Or perhaps they’re are just getting the word out, for all the people who didn’t realize Kerry and Bush were running in the last election.

Person1:  “Whom are you voting for?”

Person2:  “Well Johnson has more bumper stickers on nice cars, but Carlson has more yard signs in nice neighborhoods.”

Person1:  “Yeah, it’s a real tough call.”

·        Jesus/Darwin Fish – If there were any belief system less likely than political beliefs to be changed by a sticker, it would have to be religious beliefs.

Person1:  “Do you believe in God?”

Person2:  “I’m sorry, but that’s very personal information that I only discuss with my spouse and whoever happens to be driving behind me.”

·        Piss on [vehicle company] stickers – How mature of people to justify the purchase of their overpriced vehicle by using a stupid cartoon urination joke to mock the other guys.  Now, I’m not saying that people who drive trucks are insecure in general, but… no, wait, I am saying that.

Psychiatrist:  “How are your crippling emotional problems this week?”

Guy:  “Still there.  I don’t get it – I got the truck and everything, just like you told me to.”

Psychiatrist:  “And the pissing sticker?”

Guy:  “Yeah, got that too.”

Psychiatrist:  “Hmm... This is a tough case… we’re gonna need more stickers.”

It must be getting more and more difficult for people to coordinate the stances taken on their bumper stickers, t-shirts and trucker caps.

-FG

Post a comment: