The PowerBall lottery jackpot has now reached $340 million, and I am completely sick of hearing about it.  Firstly, the lottery itself is a horrible concept.  It has the worst odds of any form of gambling you’ll ever find, which is of course why the government sponsors it.  It’s like a tax on stupidity.     

But the only thing worse than having to listen to the stupid people is having to listen to the so-called ‘smart’ people.  Every media source out there has no trouble finding some pompous university mathematician to come up with the ubiquitous example of how bad our odds are.

Mathematician: “You have better odds of dying in an elephant stampede than winning the lottery.”

FG:  “Is that so.  Well, which odds are better:  you winning the lottery tonight, or you talking to a girl tonight?”

Mathematician:  “Let me just check a few calculations here… hmm… I’m going to go buy a lottery ticket.”

There are, however, some cases in which you should buy a lottery ticket.  For instance, if your office is doing a ticket pool, you have to put a dollar in, because if they win and you’re the only one who was too cheap buy in, that would be it for you.  That’s the end.  Game over.  There’s no moving past that.  Just find the nearest window and jump.

Cashier:  “That’ll be 99 cents.”

Dad:  “Here’s a dollar.”

Kid:  “Hey, Dad, remember the time you could have had 3 million dollars, but you didn’t want to spend a buck?”

Dad:  “Yes.”

Kid:  “Well now you’re spending a dollar on a can of creamed corn.  Kinda interesting, huh, Dad?”

Dad:  “Quite.  Hey, that reminds me… Do you guys sell guns here?”

Lotto fever… catch it!

-FG

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