You know what’s lame?  People who try to jazz up their email messages with weird crap that does nothing but make them less readable.  I especially hate people who use ‘handwriting’ fonts.  That’s right -- all the impersonality of an email combined with the illegibility of handwriting.  What’s not to like?      

Then they change the colors to neon-green words on a pink background.  It ends up so bright you can’t even look directly at it without damaging your eyes.  In order to read it you have to use one of those pinhole-viewers they use to study a solar eclipse.

Person1:  “Did you read the email I sent you?”

Person2:  “No, I couldn’t find my welder’s mask.”

Then there’s the signature feature of the email programs.  This was meant to be used to include your name, address, phone number or other personal info at the end of your messages.  Instead, most people just stick in a stupid movie quote, or some other piece of random garbage.

Interviewer:  “Thank you for your interest in this position.  First off, why don’t you tell me a little about yourself?”

Applicant:  “Do the chickens have large talons?”

The worst part is that I see people this kind of crap at work.  Don’t they realize how stupid this makes them look?

Boss:  “I’d like to send out an office-wide memo.”

Secretary:  “Sure thing.  Just let me get my construction paper and box of crayons.”

Don’t forget the glue-on sparkles.

-FG

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