It’s Election Day here in America.  This is the day we go out and vote for the candidates that all of our favorite comedians and talk show hosts have instructed us to vote for.  However, this is an off year – no national elections – so we don’t have these television-based oracles available to us to impart their wisdom concerning our piddling local elections.      

            And quite piddling they were, around these parts.  The main race on the card was the incumbent mayor running unopposed.  If only I had been aware of this situation… I really think I would have had a shot.

FG:  “I’d like to run for mayor.”

City Hall Clerk:  “Ok, first of all, what’s your name?”

FG:  “FingerlessGloves.”

City Hall Clerk:  “We’re going to need an actual name.”

FG:  “You know what, toots?  You’re going to be the first one gone when I come into power.”

So I’m fairly certain that the only reason that 90% of the voters bothered voting at all today was to get the ‘I Voted’ sticker.  People out there are really interested in having anything they can look down at other people about.  And this is like a special designation handed down personally from the government.  Plus it sticks to your shirt.  I think a lot of society’s problems could be solved through stickers

Person1:  “Still got the ‘I don’t do drugs’ sticker, eh?”

Person2:  “Yep… Hey, where’d your ‘I don’t murder people’ sticker go?”

Person1:  “I, uh… I don’t want to talk about it.”

Democracy in action.

-FG

Post a comment: