I was in a store the other day, and there was this woman there, and she sneezed.  Except, she didn’t really sneeze.  She just made a sneezing motion and said the word ‘ah-choo’.  What the hell is with people like that?  Who do they think they’re fooling?  I find this personally offensive, because they are attempting to deceive me into believing that they just sneezed.  Look, lady, I know what a sneeze sounds like, and that ain’t it.

First of all, nobody actually says ‘ah-choo’.  Secondly, even if they did, just saying the words doesn’t accomplish a damn thing.  It was like she was just reading straight off of a poorly written script.

Woman:  “I don’t think I’m going to be able to make it into work today.  I’m coming down with a cold.  Ah-choo.”

Boss:  “Uh… you don’t sound that bad.”

Woman:  “No, I’m pretty sick.  Cough, hack, wheeze…. Cough.”

Boss:  “Alright, that’s enough.  You’re fired.”

Woman:  “Damn.  Gunshot.  Body hitting floor.”

The sound of me not saying gesundheit.

-FG

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