In the distant past I discussed the existence of a candy caste system, which detailed the clear discrepancies between the appeals of different flavors of candy.  I feel that it is time to return to this important topic to discuss the one of the most extreme cases of this phenomenon:  Jelly-Belly™ jellybeans.

Attempting to eat their mix of 50 flavors is like playing some sort of horrible, candy-oriented Russian roulette.  They lull you into a false sense of security with cherry or orange-flavored beans, then, Wham! Your taste buds’ brains are splattered all over the wall by a black licorice bean.             

In order to successfully enjoy the snack you have to examine each tiny little bean under a jeweler’s loupe and compare it against the provided color/pattern descriptions to ensure that you’re not about to make a horrible mistake. 

Person1:  “Could you turn down the TV in there?  I’m trying to concentrate.”

Person2:  “Sure.  What’s going on?  Studying?”

Person1:  “No, I wish.  I’m trying to eat this candy.”

Candy shouldn’t be that difficult.

-FG

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