In the past week I’ve had no less than 10 people inquire about the status of my Christmas shopping.  What possible difference could this make to anybody?  None, that’s what.  So why the hell has it become such a common question?  It’s like some sort of new trend in small talk.  I hate small talk.    

Person1:  “Have you finished your Christmas shopping yet?”
Person2:  “Just about.  Why do you ask?”

Person1:  “Because I don’t really like talking to you.” 

I’ve never personally asked that question of anybody.  Not just because I hate small talk, but also because the answer is invariably the same:  Everyone is behind on their Christmas shopping.  Even if they aren’t, they’ll still say that they are just to fit in.  It’s like a crappy stand-up comedy routine from the 80s. 

Male1:  “Have you finished your Christmas shopping yet?”

Male2:  “Of course not.  I am a typical male that waits to the last minute to shop, can’t find the mall but won’t stop to ask for directions, then leaves the toilet seat up.  What is the deal with me?”

Have you finished your small talk yet?

-FG

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