I was looking at a catalog the other day, and I noticed they were selling a headband with the claim ‘one size fits most’.  Most?  What the hell is that all about?  In my day we had ‘one size fits all’, and we liked it.  I can only assume that some guy with a giant head bought the headband and sued because it didn’t fit.  Who would have time for such a stupid lawsuit? 

Person:  “Wanna go out and get some food or something?”

BigHead:  “No going out...  I don’t want anyone to see my giant head.”

Person:  “Well, what are you going to do all night?”

BigHead:  “I dunno… sue stuff?”

But this ‘most’ bullcrap seems to be cropping up more and more lately.  I also saw some sort of pajama shirt with the same ‘one size fits most label’.  It must’ve been some big fat guy suing this time.  What a proud victory that must have been.

Person1:  “What did you do today?”

Person2:  “I changed the legal definition of how fat somebody can be.”

Person1:  “Well, I guess that’s more than you did yesterday.”

A proud day, indeed.

-FG

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