Home
Archive
Forum
FAQ
About FG

 

VD again?
Tuesday, February 14th 2006
9:58 pm

Valentine’s Day sure seems to be getting a lot of bad press lately.  Come to think of it, I can’t think of a single time that I’ve heard anyone anywhere say anything positive about the holiday.  Single people are depressed by it, males in a relationship hate the pressure of it, and women in a relationship just set themselves up to be wildly, wildly disappointed by it. 

So why is Valentine’s Day even celebrated?  I think it’s time, once again, for me to come to the defense of such a battered holiday:

 

  • It allows women to be as materialistic as they usually are, except out in the open:

 

Woman1:  “Did you have a romantic Valentine’s day?”

Woman2:  “I’m not sure.  I’ll let you know when I’ve finished adding up these receipts.”

 

  • Guys who wear pink shirts only have to deal with jerks like me laughing at them behind their backs, instead of everyone laughing at them behind their backs and me laughing at them openly.
  • Only having to show your love on one day, while spending the rest of the year with relative apathy towards your significant other, is a lot better than the flipside, in which you’d have to express your love everyday, but then get to come home on Feb 14th and flip the hell out at them – throwing chairs at the wall and smashing dinner plates and… actually that sounds pretty good, too.  We should try that next year.
  • Fat guys who are tired of receiving admonishing looks for the amount of candy they purchase can breathe easier for one day.

 

Candy Store Guy:  “Twelve boxes of chocolate?  You must really have someone special.”

Fat Guy:  “It certainly would appear that way.”

 

In the end, it isn’t a real holiday unless everyone is miserable.  Happy VD to all.

-FG

---
Comments:

Post a comment:

Name:  
Email:
Url: Remember my info:
Comment:
 

 

Back to Archive
Copyright Fingerlessgloves.