For the past couple of weeks I’ve been hearing a line at the end of Guinness beer ads that encourage me to “enjoy Guinness this St. Patrick’s Day season.”  St. Patrick’s Day season?  As everyone knows, St. Patrick’s Day is a bunch of crap.  Wearing the one green shirt that you already own and drinking to excess is barely enough of a holiday to warrant a single day, let alone an entire season.  

In light of this, I’d like to take this opportunity to introduce to the FingerlessGloves audience a new segment entitled

You Seem To Be The Only One Who Isn’t Aware That You Are:

An Alcoholic

I can’t even imagine how large of a drinking problem you’d have to have before a ‘St. Patrick’s Day season’ would sound reasonable to you. 

Person:  “I’ll take another Guinness.  After all, it is the St. Patrick’s Day season.”

translation:

Person:  “I am going to have another drink, and in my mind I will create a mythical holiday that condones this type of behavior, thus excusing me from dealing with my horrible reality, even though that’s why I was drinking in the first place.”

Happy Holidays

-FG

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