Have you ever noticed that whenever the topic of spicy food comes up, there’s always one guy who brags about how spicy the food he eats is?  It’s not like spicier food tastes better.  He’s just mentioning it to impress you.  Aren’t you impressed?

Guy:  “I’ll have the extra-spicy wings, please.”

Rest of Table:  “Oooh.”

Waiter:  “Very good, sir.  Anything else?”

Guy:  “Yes.  Bring me three pieces of fruit to juggle.”

Rest of Table:  “Ahhh “

In reality, spiciness is just the capsaicin in the food burning your mouth.  I’d rather taste my food than have it inflicted upon me.

Tough-Guy:  “I’ll take a burrito with habanero sauce, please.”

Waiter:  “Oh, sorry, we’re out of habenero right now.  How about if I just stand here and randomly stab you with this fork while you’re trying to eat?”

Tough-Guy:  “Perfect.”

Sometimes a severe chemical burn just isn’t what I’m looking for in a meal.

-FG

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