Lately, Domino’s Pizza has been putting a lot of effort into their new ‘XLP’ campaign.  This stands for ‘Xtra Large Pizza’, and is different from any other company’s extra large pizzas in zero ways.  It’s just a slightly larger pizza with a stupid name.  Evidently Domino’s just felt they needed a more Xtreme name to go with their pizza’s Xtreme crappiness.

But their marketing geniuses did at least one thing right.  They must have realized early on, as anyone would, that the only fate worse than having a Domino’s pizza would be to somehow end up with 30% more of a Domino’s pizza.  Thus, they have disguised this horrible scenario by removing any mention of the word ‘pizza’ from the name of the product.  Observe these two cases:

Person1:  “Would you like to go to Domino’s to get some pizza?”

Person2:  “Domino’s pizza?  That’s disgusting.  You disgust me.”

Notice how horrific the terms ‘Domino’s’ and ‘pizza’ look in the same sentence together.  So just replace it with the letter ‘P’:

Person1:  “Would you like to go to Domino’s and get a food item that starts with ‘P’, which may or may not stand for ‘pizza’?”

Person2:  “Hmm… I will cling onto the hope that the ‘P’ does not stand for ‘pizza’, and will reluctantly accompany you to Domino’s.”

Which explains the new slogan: “Don’t ask what the ‘P’ stands for – you don’t want to know.”

-FG

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